Fml. Sitting in this classroom bored out of my mind. Cuz my original classroom is taken over by juniours

And its pretty bad since i talk about how much these people bother me when I do the same things.

I cant stand: People who arent confident(me), people who cant make decisions(me), people who send mixed signals(me),people who exagerate(me)

Ive com to the conclusion that im really just one big hypocrite.

Mixed Emotions.

I hate Mod G.
And I've been hating a little less as the days go by.
But I still hate it.
Especially now.
Especially today.
If you know me..
You'll know that when I get angry at someone, I'll embarrass them.
But I say that I'll fuck someone up.
Not really...
I'm a little person on the inside.
It takes a lot to get me into a fight.
A lot of emotion..
So today in Mod G.
Which is my English class.
I was just sitting listening to Mr.Howe read Lord of the Flies.
When i hear crumpling plastic.
Like a piece of a wrapper to something.
And then I feel something hit my hair.
(Oh and I'm wearing a hooded sweatshirt)
So immediately I know whats going on.
And just in case I'm wrong, I don't wanna look like a phsyco.
I don't look back, I don't try to see what they're doing.
Until I keep hearing that plastic.
And keep hearing it.
So I lean just slightly so I can see out of the corner of my eye.
The asshole sitting behind me is doing it.
And my nigga Chad in the corner over there is like
"guys! whatthefuck! you guys are such douche bags."
After a little bit I heard them say " Chad are you mad at us?"
Which made me feel a little better.
And the kid Brenden (who's really hot)
Was like "Don't pay attention to what he says he's a jerk" (pointing to either Cameron or that asshole sitting in back of me)
Didn't make me feel any better.
I didn't expect that kid behind me to do that.
Fuck. I didn't do anything to him!
I really hope it wasn't Cameron telling him to do it...
(The blond Cameron not my Cam).
But like I said up there ^ I was so full of mixed emotions at that moment that I really wanted to get up and punch him in the face.
Or at least throw those plastic things back in his face and yell "Whatthefuck did I do to you?!"
It was bad too because after it happened, and it took the things out of my hood.
And I was just trying to read with the class so I didn't smack this Motherfucker.
I realized I was shaking 'cause i was balancing my head with my hand and my elbow was on the desk, but i couldn't even keep it still 'cause my hands where shaking so bad.

I love my daddy he always leaves me coffee in the morning :)

Awkwarrrrd

Don't you find it funny Case?
That every time we're on the phone or talking on xbox it's awkward?
I was going to call you about this but that would be pretty ironic huh?
I figured you'd read this eventually.
I find it kinda weird that we can hold together a good friendship when we don't even talk other the phone, text, or talk on xbox unless it has to do with plans.
I think it might just be a good quality that we have I guess.
It doesn't so much as bother me really, just makes me wonder.
You know that every time we do talk on the phone or xbox we always have some reason to leave?
The weird thing is that I hate talking on the phone, but I have no problem talking on xbox.
I think that's what makes it awkward.
Or maybe it's just that weird vibe come back to haunt you :)

Just Random Shit.

I love how you think you really can't get closer to someone then, you do.
I've been hanging with Jason a lot lately, and it's pretty awesome actually.
He told me he'd take me out driving soon even though I'm not supposed to.
We've been talking all about these new bands we're listening to.
He's trying so hard to get us Blink tickets.
I feel like he tells me everything.
Like our conversations in the car will last forever.
He wants to get me a job where he works, because apparently it would be so easy.
And really fuckin good money:)
But the thing is that I live an hour away from him, and he lives like 45 minutes away from his work.
So yeah, not so much.
Bugs are biting me even though I'm inside :(
I chilled with Case and Mish on Wednesday/ Thursday.
Met some cool bands at the mall.
And now I'm planning on going downstairs and getting a new gamertag.

..some things need fixing

Is everything going to go back to normal when school's over?
I feel like the odd one out in our little threesome thing.
Whatever you call it.
It sucks feeling like your friends are becoming so distant.
I wish school would end already so I can fix it.
I need to get my mind off of everything pointless here in my house.
I need fun.
I'm worried about not going to dad's tomorrow night again, because I was planning on giving him his Father's Day present.
Now that'll have to wait.
Again.

You know what just made me really happy?That I just got free sour patch kids from a kid in my study :D I love life.

Conspiracies suck.

How come everytime I'm in a good mood my family just feels the need to ruin it?
I swear it's a game to them.
I think they're all a conspiracy.
Like one giant group of assholes God uses just to make me sane.
Cause if they weren't like this then I probably would be.. well I don't know actually.
I could've been anything if things where different.
I could've had less of a backbone.
I could've been a total bitch.
I could've been a major slut.
Anything.

Whether I try to or not I'm just a bitch.Jess told me about a month ago that I look like I could beat someone up.That's not good.That means I look like a bitch.

I just feel like such an asshole today.I got mad at my dad for doing nothing.I feel like I don't help my brother out enough.And I always make everyone mad at me

On the bus.Dad's pissing me off.I don't think he's gonna pick me up this weekend which is gonna piss me off.And I can't control it.These kids smell like piss.

Im in a dellimma?Jason needs me to babysit tonight and it's dad's night.I don't wanna skip on dad again and I don't wanna skip out on Jason cause he needs me.

It's raining cats and dogs :) I really just wanted to say that.

I'm pretty pissed that Sarah's not gonna be at dad's tonight.I'm on the bus and annoying people in the back are screaming.And they're highschoolers, immature?

So Jordans in a pissy mood I'm guessing and he yells at me when I'm just standing there waiting for my seat. Wtf? He said. "I don't care!" as he got up.

Sitting in study.Bored as fuck.And I really had a sucky morning.I had bad vibes in the cafe.Which I neer have.And I had an asshole in my seat again in Spanish.

Shoot Me Please?

I've had a very interesting couple of days.
Sean's been high except for today.
I got my hair cut and it came out like shit.
Case hit me in the face with her tit on the bus the other day.
Haha.
Thanh kicked me out of his locker and shoved the rest of my shit into some empty locker.
I hit my head on the phone on the wall in my homeroom yesterday.
My mom is officially bi-polar in my book.
I really wanna see my cousin for some reason.
I also really wanna go to Mikeys show this weekend and just chill outside the whole time.
I had an awful sub in Math today.
I actually got a bunch of work done in Science.
And now I'm starting to get a headache..

Getting Better As It Goes.

Ugh.
So tons of shit happened today.
I don't have my phone right now because I left it on the couch and my step-dad's in a really pissy mood right now and decided to take it.
So later I'll just ask my mom where it is.
If she actually does then I'll be lucky, cause sometimes he doesn't even tell her that he's hiding it.
My hair is full of chlorine and it's kind of gross, I went swimming earlier and the pool is really really cold.
After that my mom made us help our grandmother out in her yard, even though she didn't have anything for us to be doing.
Before that happened.
When I went outside and was about to go get my flipflops and go to the pool, I'd remembered that I'd left them on the porch overnight.
So I went out to go get them, and I asked my step-dad if he'd seen them, and he didn't answer.
So I kept looking around and found them in the middle of the lawn.
And obviously my mother wouldn't do anything that phsyco.
So I knew it was my step-dad.
I don't know what his problem is lately but I didn't say or do anything to him to make him act this way towards me.
I'm still sick which is also pissing me off.
I've been sick for probably about a month now.
I can't get rid of it.
That's probably gonna mean that Case won't be able to for a while either.
I just found my phone.
Which makes me a little bit happier.
I have a feeling that we're gonna end up having cereal for dinner again tonight.
Mostly cause mom's sleeping on the couch and it's pretty much dinnertime.
I think the whole thing with grounding me just from TV right now is pretty pointless.
Mainly because I can just watch TV on my computer.
But it's okay that they're behind on new technology.
I like it for now.
Sarah does blog a lot too.
God how many posts in one day?
I mean I log on and check the update thing and see that Sarah's written like five more new entries.
Which is the opposite pretty much with Case.
She hasn't been writing any at all.
You know what just made me super happy?
That on June 9th. I get a free pair of Havianas flipflops.
Yeah.
Now lets see if the rest of my day can go just a little bit better.

Failure..

Wow.
That just pissed me off thoroughly.
I was just in the middle of blogging and I was kinda almost done and I pressed the "backspace" key and the Internet backed up a couple pages and my blog was gone.
I was in the middle of blogging about Sarah, cause she asked me to include her in here.
So i was being a good sister and I was writing about her.
I actually remember exactly what I was gonna say next.
It was. "God I love her."
Yeah that may sound a little weird now but it did actually go with what I was saying.
I don't even remember what I was saying about her at the moment.
Ugh.
wow.
AJ's over and we were playing COD5 cause mom finally let me play, and he said he forgot to bring his controller, so all three of us switched off between two controllers and it sucked.
So after mom kicked me out from downstairs.
It was just Anthony and AJ playing down there and AJ was just looking through his bag and found his controller that we could have played with and that there was no point in having now that there wasn't even three people down there.
Ugh, that just made my day too.
Plus we skipped out on my cousins down in Mass, because my mom doesn't like my aunt anymore apparently.
I really wanted to go to the graduation party for my cousin David because Dean would be there and I love him to death:)
He's so funny and he sometimes brings his friend Christain too.
Plus he smokes, which I haven't done in a while but if he just happened to offer some to me and we just happened to take a stroll down the street I'm sure I would've
But he doesn't know that I know he smokes which I think is kinda funny.
Mostly because my other cousin Chrissy who lives in the same town as them goes and smokes with him and he doesn't know that Chrissy is my cousin.
And me and Chrissy are really really close so she tells me pretty much everything.
Apparently my aunt has gotten really dumb over the years because she apparently does his homework for him, and thinks that he has a reading disability so that he can't do it.
Ha.
Now that's whipped.
I'll just talk about Sarah in my next blog cause I can't really think of anything right now.
Wonder what Case and Mish are doing.
I really wanna see Mish too.

Best Spanish Class Everr :D

Ha. Okay.
So in my Spanish class Sean Claypool sits in back of me, and Rosa Rais sits in front of me.
And me and Rosa are friends and stuff so we talk all the time and normally Sean only talks to me if he needs help with something or if we're in a group together.
So we have a sub today and Sean's pretty talkative.
And the sub tells us to do this really big packet of translating.
Which I'm already done almost a whole paragraph by the time he's done passing them out.
So Sean says "Carrissa can you help me?"
And he kind of reminds me of a little kid just the way he says it.
In this elongated voice, like he's almost whining.
So I turn around and show him a little bit of what I have done and wait 'til I'm done at least a paragraph to give him my notebook to copy off of.
And In little breaks in between he's talking to me and Rosa about stuff.
I forget what but all I remember is that he ended up saying.
"I'm really high right now so I can't do that."
And me and Rosa started laughing.
And so after that Sean told me that he was done and goes to hand me my notebook back.
But see on his desk is his notebook, my notebook, and his packet.
So he reaches over and gives me his packet thinking it was my notebook.
So I said.
"Uhh Sean. That's not mine." with a big smile on my face trying to hold back laughing.
So he giggled and said.
"Oh. Sorry Carrissa."
In this voice that sounded like he was really tired.
After that me and Rosa found almost everything he was doing really funny.
Like he was trying to text someone and he yelled across the classroom to Jordan Dupuis.
"Dude I don't know how to spell it."
And he looked so confused while he was doing it too.
It took him like 5 minutes to finish texting when he was actually done.
While me and Rosa where giggling he was like.
"Are you guys laughing at me?" with a giant grin on his face.
The whole thing just completely made my day let me tell you.

Haha Gay Debate :D

Ok so I'm a pretty open person.
And we where watching the news while we where having dinner today and the whole thing about gay marriage getting passed came on.
And my mom said something mean.
Along with my little brother.
So supporting the gays like I do.
I said something about it.
And of course my brother joked and was like "Haha. Carrissa's gone gay everyone. Oh no!"

But I was just like "no I just support them."

And madre just said "well I believe marriage should be between a man and a woman."
In that little bitchy voice she does whenever she's disgusted.

And my point was. "Well that's discriminating. it's just like saying an interracial couple can't get married"

Hers was. "Well what happens when they decide to have kids? Those kids will get tortured in school."

Mine. "So will any ugly kid. Any kid that's noticeably Asian, Hispanic, or Black. That's over half the kids in our school. And plus I know kids that have gay parents and they where fine as kids. Are you gonna tell all the Blacks, Hispanics and Asians that they can't get married because they're kids will get 'tortured' later on in school? Is the new definition of marriage "a joining of a WHITE male and a WHITE female"?"

Just The Way It Has To Be.

Lately I feel so left out of everything that everyone's doing.
Like people invite me to do stuff on the weekends or after school, or go to their shows.
But I can't cause "I'm grounded".
Which sucks massively.
I can't even do anything with Case and Jam.
But it's mainly my fault I guess.
My mom just controlls it.
Which also sucks massively.
She's just such a bitch about everything.
And even if it's a big event like going to Canobie she'll still say no.
Or seeing Mish at all while school is still going on.
But she'll let me do everything again when the school years over.
Yay...
That's pretty much when everyone's plans are all over.
Ughh..
Oh.
Ha. So Case has the word "spiffy" under the condition of her English book.
And the day she put it in there she was talking about it to a bunch of people.
So the thing I think is so funny is that Lucas poked me today and opened his book and said "hehe look I wrote 'spiffy'"
And there it was written underneath "condion of book" was the word "spiffy" in Lucas's boy-handwriting.

Did I tell you how much I love my brother?

Ok.
So right before I blogged about being really mad at madre.
My Facebook satus was "Pissed off much?".
And just to make my day a little bit brighter, my brother said.
"Actually...yes i pissed this morning, twice this afternoon and im goin to go right now too ;)"
That was the only time I laughed from the time I got back from school today.

Really Pissed Off.

So apparently now my efforts are worth nothing to my bitch ass mom unless I have at least a what? 72 exactly?
wow.
She told me that I should have an A in Math instead of a C and that a C isn't good enough for her.
Ugh.. Bitch.
She told me that I shouldn't be doing my homework in study because "it's called homework for a reason"
Translation.
"I just want to know everything you're doing."
If only Jason knew what the hell was going on over here.
She also had the nerve to tell me that I don't give a shit about my grades.
Which I obviously do If I'm at least trying and stressing out about my projects.
Oh.
And when we finally get home she starts acussing me of random shit that even my step dad doesn't agree with.
She started telling me that I didn't do my part of the dishes last night.
Going on and on about it so I couldn't even get a word in.
Until finally my step-dad says.
"it wasn't her night last night."
So when she finally stops yelling at me to listen to him, all she says is "oh."
And just to piss me off after that she said. " well you left these in here the night you had dishes too. I remeber."
Which I fucking didn't, as I recall very correctly.
I told her I didn't and she didn't say anything else after that except give me some chores to do so she wouldn't say anything stupid to make herself look like an idiot.
Which she always does after being wrong.

My Wish

You know what.
I just realized how great I have it with my brother.
He doesn't hit me..
He's not an asshole.
I can't count how many times he's saved me from the rest of the family.
Mostly because he seems to be the only one who understands.
I could pretty much tell him anything, even if he'd get mad he'd support me no matter what.
He talks to me all the time about stuff that both of us go through.
He even talks to mom about being such a bitch to me, and how he went through the same thing as a kid.
He told me once that as soon as I'm eighteen I can come live with him and visit mom on the weekends.
We blast our favorite music in the car.
We make fun of each others music.
*cough* Taylor Swift?
And whenever he gets a new girlfriend he always asks me if I like them, and if I think the rest of the family will too.
I don't think he ever figured he'd have a better relationship with his little sister than his little brother.
He is definetaly my savior.

"I hope that days come easy and moments pass slow,And each road leads you where you want to go,And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.And if one door opens to another door closed,I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile"- Rascal Flatts, My Wish

Invisble.

wow.
I just looked at the calendar on my wall, and today wasn't on it.
Which is really weird.
I was super confused for a minute just standing there like "Am I on the wrong page or something?"
I just realized I have to add Blink 182's new CD on my CD's To Get List.
Especially if I'm going to see them live :]
My Grampy paid a surprise visit to us today.
It was weird cause I was just standing there eating a pop with Hunter when his truck pulls up.
Anthony's being a dickface again.
He's been downstairs playing xbox all day and didn't once say hi to Jason or Hunter.
Haven't talked to Case or Jam all weekend except for on Friday.
Ahhh.
Bored as fuck.
Ugh, Mom and Anthony are fighting again.
Great.

Feel Like I'm Gossiping?

My Saturday was harsh.
Selena wasn't there, and she'll probably get called down to Mr. Ransdell's again on Monday.
I had a horrible runny nose the whole time so every five seconds I was sniffling.
God that was embarrassing.
Tons of people I know where there.
Doesn't mean they where people I like.
-Dae.
-Ryan.
-Laurisa.
-Savannah.
Ugh.
why?
I talked to Dae for like two seconds just so I didn't look like a faggot.
Sad to say her (current) boyfriend/whatever he is got kicked out in like 20 minutes.
He's definitely eighteen or over because he has some visible tattoos.
Just her type.
He didn't even look like he should be going to high school.
I'm Surprised Tyler Rooks didn't just get a Saturday on purpose, just to be with Laurisa.
Ever since they started dating, they've been attached at the hip.
yuck.
Kris Trader was also there.
Not looking his hottest actually.
He just needs to cut his hair a little bit.
When I got home, I talked to Jason about the concert.
He's trying to get VIP tickets :D
Yeah.
I think Jam thinks he's coming with me and Jason.
I'll have to clear that up.
Otherwise.
I feel like shit, cause I'm really sick.
I legit went to bed at 7:30 last night.
That's fucked up.
Even Hunter wasn't in bed yet.
I slept like a baby too though, but woke up at like 2:45 in the morning.
Which is actually normal for me.
Gotta go to bed soon..
Oh and, damn Case can write:]
Hope you had fun on your date the other night hunn.

We All Need Rescue

Hunters over.
He got his hair cut in a Mohawk again , and it looks sooo cute :]
My brother looked at me really weird when he dropped him off.
Like he just stared at me and had this weird smirk on his face.
Huh.
Maybe it had to do with him knowing about my Saturday tomorrow?
I love putting my music on shuffle :]
"Rescue Me from Everything I just Wanna Live I Wish I Could Breathe"-HH Rescue Me
Such a deep song.
Idk what book I'm gonna bring to my Saturday tomorrow.
Hmm.
Oh.Case is calling.
Jam's pissing her off about Millie.
Goddamn Millie.
Why do you have to ruin everything?
I feel bad though cause if Jam leaves Millie, he'll be miserable.
But if he gets back with her, he subconsciously blows off everyone in his life for her.
:[ I'm sorry dude.
That's a tough decision.
"I know the spark inside your eyes was just the match I used to set myself on fire"-Bayside Devotion and Desire

Epic Fail.

Hmm. idk what i wanna do for my English research project.
pretty sure I'm gonna fail it epically, even if i do try.
Hope to God I don't have mono, cause I'm really sick and idk if its from sharing a drink with this random kid in my lunch or swimming in my pool.
This is mostly the reason why I'm falling asleep in class.
Ugh.
Tomorrow I have a Saturday to attend, which I am really not happy about.
But Selena is going so that's a little better :]
I just hope they let us out early or something. cause it is going to suck hardcore.
Had to tell my father that I was going to a party on Saturday, just so he wouldn't get mad/disappointed.
Lie.
My life is a complete and utter failure to him anyway so i don't know why I care about not disappointing him.
But I guess that's just me. Always has been.

First Blog?

Cassey likes this curl.
that took forever.
..Laurisa and Tyler are together? fuck.
im really really tired and kinda fell asleep in math.
"im a con a stealer of hearts" :] i like that part in Oxygen by NFG.
so some people think its funny to tell me that they have kids.. when they really dont which pisses me the fuck off.
i mean seriously? dont you have anything better to do with your lives?
*cough* Zack
PLUS casseys stealing my Batman boxers that i went tricker treating with Steve in :]
and shes putting them on her wall
along with her giant collection of Batman and Joker stuff (Batman stuffed toy she bribed some kid to give her)
now im thirsty.